


Wear A Warning

by Profrock



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, M/M, Murderers, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 11:23:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4562769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profrock/pseuds/Profrock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Lester is an assassin. Dan Howell just so happens to be in his way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wear A Warning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! Wow, two fics in twenty-four hours jfc I should really look into hobbies. I hear stamp collecting is nice...
> 
> Also, my first time writing sexy-times, whee. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to wash my mind out with holy water and hand sanitizer.
> 
> Enjoy, you dirty lil perverts.

Phil gazed down the sight of his sniper rifle. He shifted his hips, grimacing as the hardwood floor pressed uncomfortably into his crotch. Trevor Warren entered the scope, obliviously going about his business in his hotel penthouse suite. Phil was camped out in the only perch he could find that was at the right angle and height to see into the window of Warren’s suite: A random bloke’s flat he had taken over for thee past five days. Phil’s intel told him that one Mr. Daniel Howell would be out for at least another week according to the plane tickets on his credit card records, giving Phil ample time to complete his contract on Warren. Phil’s contract consisted of the relatively simple task of offing the billionaire, in return receiving nearly half a million pounds. Why he was being contracted to kill the man was beyond Phil; he learned quickly that in his line of work, you don’t go asking questions unless you have the bullets to take on whatever the answers may bring. Digging into business that wasn’t your own was a quick way to stop your heart from beating, and Phil was rather affectionate of his cardiovascular system and preferred that it stay in working order, thank you very much.

 

Warren pulled his mobile from his pocket, dialing a number and pressing the device to his ear. Phil watched for another number of agonizing minutes as Warren wandered aimlessly around his flat, talking down the line. Finally, Phil had him parked in front of the window, all attention given to the person on the other side of the call. Phil’s finger twitched and he pressed the trigger, his bullet puncturing a perfect round hole in the window of Warren’s suite before finding itself planted firmly in his forehead.

 

Phil only allowed himself a heavy exhale as a celebration, immediately beginning to dismantle and pack away his gun. Being twenty-eight but appearing nearly a decade younger worked in Phil’s favor, being able to hide his weapon in a small backpack. He would exit the flat and blend in with the late-night University crowd, completely unsuspected on his bus ride home.

 

Phil heard a door slam and something heavy drop to the ground. A young man stood in the doorway, brown eyes blown wide and a hand covering his mouth. Phil whipped a pistol out of his belt, pointing it directly at the man’s – he couldn’t be older than eighteen though, really – head.

 

“Dan?” Phil asked calmly. The guy nodded, slumping involuntarily back against the door, his hands trembling.

 

“You aren’t supposed to be back from Las Vegas until next week,” Phil snarled, cursing himself. He checked his watch. He had seven minutes at most to pack up and get the hell out of there before the cops showed up. Probably less.

 

“Get – stay there,” Phil said, flicking his gun over to the corner of the room. Dan inched his way over to where Phil motioned, swallowing heavily.

 

“What’s – what’s your name?” Dan asked, voice shaking. “Who are you?”

 

Phil snorted. “I’m pointing a gun at your head and you want to know my name? You’re cute Dan, very cute.”

 

Shoving the pistol into the back of his waistband, Phil grabbed the suitcase and backpack Dan had dropped and dashed quickly to Dan’s bedroom. He tossed the case and backpack on the bed, quickly unzipping them and throwing a few handfuls of clothes into the hamper at the foot of Dan’s bed, as well as unpacking a few other things and placing them on the bed.

 

Phil worked quickly, making it seem as if Dan had been back in his apartment for at least a little while, just enough time to begin to unpack and resettle into his flat. He moved quickly back into the living room, finding Dan knelt over his duffel bag, rifle in hand.

 

“Really,” Phil scoffed, marching up to him and snatching the gun out of his hands. “Please. Don’t embarrass yourself.” Dan’s eyes were the size of dinner plates as Phil easily plucked the weapon from his hands, expertly disassembling it and packing it into his backpack in a matter of seconds.

 

Sirens echoed from the streets below. Phil mentally kicked himself.

 

“Come on,” he said without looking back, striding to the window and throwing it open.

 

“What?” Dan asked, hysteria creeping into his tone.

 

Phil pulled out the gun again.

 

“Can’t risk you turning me in,” he said, shrugging easily as if he was stating the weather. Dan’s eye grew wider, if that was even possible.

 

“Come on.” Phil motioned with his gun again, this time towards the window. His heart was racing, the idea of being caught poking at the forefront of his mind. It was not a fun idea.

 

Dan remained rooted to the floor.

 

“Why should I go with you?” he asked warily, eying the weapon in Phil’s hand. Phil growled.

 

“Because this is your flat, and you are going to be number one on the suspect list without an airtight alibi. I’m offering you your life, motherfucker, I’d suggest you take it.”

 

Dan stepped slowly towards the window. Phil cocked the rifle. Dan jumped at the click, scurrying to the window and lifting his leg out, straddling the windowsill before dropping down to the fire escape. Phil followed right behind him, turning to close the window behind him.

 

The trip down the metal stairs of the fire escape was painfully slow for Phil, whose every sense was on high alert. Dan stumbled gracelessly down the metal platforms, Phil following with uncanny cat-like agility. Dan eventually dropped to the pavement, landing with a heavy thud. Phil dropped silently behind him, grabbing Dan’s wrist and pulling him against the side of the building. A police car passed and Phil tensed, finally exhaling when it passed the side alley without a hint of pausing.

 

Phil could feel Dan’s breathy whimpers, taste Dan’s pulse pounding through his veins. He squeezed Dan’s wrist, hard. A warning.

 

The two inched along the side of the building, Phil glancing furtively both ways before turning the corner onto the main road. He maneuvered their hands so their fingers were laced together, appearing as nothing more than two men walking together holding hands. He gripped Dan’s hand tight, almost daring him to try and run off.

 

Phil’s breathing finally retuned to some semblance of normal as the distance between him and Dan’s flat widened. He fished his mobile out of his pocket, scrolling through his contacts before pressing dial.

 

Chris picked up on the third ring. “Phil, old buddy old pal.” Phil could hear the seductively sarcastic smirk Chris was wearing through the phone. “What can I do for you sweetheart?”

 

“Hey Chris. The feds’ll be around some time tomorrow. I was there from about ten till one, and I took home a tall, brown haired thing. Guy, hair cut like mine, brown eyes and dimples. Doesn’t look a day over eighteen.”

 

“I’m nineteen,” Dan muttered under his breath, Phil gripping his hand tight in warning.

 

“I’ll text you a picture,” Phil said. Chris giggled.

 

“You? Phil Lester, are providing safety to a guy you don’t know? I’m surprised, people really do change.”

 

“Suck a muzzle,” Phil muttered down the line. Dan stumbled a bit. Phil growled.

 

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’ll get right on that.”

 

“Bye Chris.” Phil terminated the call, sliding his mobile back into his front pocket as he pulled Dan along.

 

Dan was deathly silent, head bowed as he followed behind Phil.

 

“I’m Phil,” Phil said out of the blue. Dan blinked owlishly at him. Phil shrugged. “You asked who I was. I’m Phil.”

 

Dan nodded quickly, averting his eyes back to the ground. Phil grabbed his chin, raising it so he could look into Dan’s eyes. Dan’s heart hammered, loud enough he was sure Phil could hear it.

 

“I’m an assassin.”

 

“What?!”

 

“An assassin. A paid killer. You know, the guys who the big bad bosses pay to keep the blood off their own hands?”

 

“I know what an assassin is,” Dan said slowly. “I was – you’re just –“ He made and abortive flailing gesture. “Sorry, excuse me?”

 

“I’m. An. Assassin,” Phil reiterated painfully slowly. He hiked up an eyebrow. “You asked who I was.”

 

Dan could only stare. He walked into a lamppost.

 

Phil sighed in frustration, watching the steam of his breath curl out of his lips and dissipate into the cool nighttime air. He grit his teeth as he harshly yanked Dan away down the street, reminding himself that it’s harder to hide a body that he usually thinks it is.

 

A wave of relief washed over Phil as he reached his flat, all anxiety about being caught finally washing out of him as he sighed. He stealthily hooked his foot around Dan’s ankle so if Dan did try to run – which Phil well and truly doubted – he would have toppled over immediately, giving Phil enough time to scoop him back up.

 

Phil was right; Dan stayed perfectly still when Phil released his hand and unlocked the flat, stepping inside the doorway when Phil gestured for him to. Phil turned the deadbolt behind him. Dan’s hands twitched slightly as the noise, final and decisive, echoed though his ears. He shivered.

 

“Alright,” Phil said cheerily, clapping his hands together once. “You are going to stay the night in my room. Do you have a friend you can text and ask to cover for you?” Dan’s head spun.

 

“Uh, there’s one guy. A friend. From university. I think – I think I can trust his with that.”

 

“Great! What’s his name?” Phil asked, holding Dan’s own phone out to unlock. Dan’s hand flew to his front pocket. “How did you –“ Phil snorted and rolled his eyes.

 

“Do you really need me to answer that for you Daniel?” Dan gaped, then closed his mouth and shook his head. Of course Phil could do something as easy as swipe his phone. Really. It came as no surprise once Dan thought about it for a moment.

 

Dan typed his passcode into the phone. _3825_. Phil tapped on the messages icon, glancing up expectantly.

 

“It’s PJ,” Dan said, the words startled out of him. “I mean, his name’s PJ. The guy. To cover for me. His name is PJ.”

 

Phil raised an eyebrow, his lips curling upwards. “Are you always this eloquent?”

 

Dan blushed an embarrassing shade of crimson. Phil’s fingers tapped swiftly across the keyboard, hovering above the send button before his head shot up.

 

“PJ?” he asked. “As in, PJ Liguroi? _The_ PJ Liguroi?”

 

Dan nodded hesitantly. “Uh, why? Do you know him?”

 

Phil laughed, a bright, amused sound.

 

“ _Know_ him? I’ve helped him on every major heist he’s done for the past three years!” Dan simply stared. No way that was his PJ.

 

“PJ’s a thief,” he stated more than asked, his voice tinged with disbelief. Phil rolled his eyes.

 

“And a damn good one too. He once got over half a billion pounds worth of shit out of a Hyde Park mansion. In one night!” He shook his head, deleting the entire message as he giggled to himself. He pressed the call button instead, setting the phone on speaker.

 

“Hey Dan,” PJ said after four rings. Phil motioned Dan to answer PJ.

 

“H-hey Peej,” Dan said. He swallowed, looking to Phil for further direction.

 

PJ must have picked up on the hesitancy in Dan’s voice. “Dan?” he said slowly. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, everything’s, uh, everything’s great,” Dan said, making abortive flailing gestures at Phil. Phil pressed his palm over his mouth to muffle his laughter, but a tiny giggle slipped out despite it.

 

“What was that, Dan? Who’s there with you?” PJ sounded worried. And scary. Dan made a mental note to never piss him off.

 

“A – uh, a friend?” Dan tried. Phil started laughing for real, unable to hold it back any longer.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetheart,” he said into the phone, sighing and wiping his eyes. “I couldn’t resist having a little fun with you.”

 

“Phillip Lester. You rat-fucking-bastard,” PJ sighed, but there was a smile behind his voice. “What are you two doing together? You know each other? How did I not know of this?”

 

“You could say that,” Phil said, glancing over to Dan. Dan chewed his bottom lip, picking at his nails behind his back.

 

“Danny boy here has a favor to ask of you,” Phil said, tossing Dan’s iPhone to him. Dan caught it on reflex. Phil crossed his arms and looked at Dan pointedly, leaning up against the door with his arms folded.

 

“What is it Dan?” PJ asked. He sounded concerned. Dan swallowed.

 

“If anyone comes by asking, I was at Chris’ from ten until one. I went home with Phil.”

 

PJ was silent, the only noise in the room the buzzing of the line and Phil’s even breathing. Dan wiped his temple.

 

“Phil,” PJ said eventually. “What did you do now?”

 

Phil scoffed, rolling his eyes and throwing up his hands. “I did jack shit. It was your little boy toy here who decided to come home a week early without telling anyone! You’re lucky I got my shot before he came in or else his head would be rolling on the floor.”

 

PJ groaned.

 

“Alright, fine,” he said. “But I’m coming over there tomorrow and I’m bringing Chris and the four of us will be having words together, okay?”

 

“Yes mother,” Phil grumbled before terminating the call. He tossed Dan’s phone onto the sofa.

 

“Alright. Let’s set some ground rules. One, you do not touch my cereal. I mean it. Two, I can have a gun against you head in less then five seconds no matter where I am in this flat. Three, if you try and escape at any point during the night, I have handcuffs. And I’ll claim it was you who killed Fat Money, so,” he shrugged. “Bathroom’s down the hall.” He moved in and ripped Dan’s shirt off of him, deliberating for a moment before letting it fall to the floor. Dan yelped, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

“What the hell was that for?” he asked. Phil kicked off his shoes, aiming in the direction of the couch.

 

“We’re making it seem believable,” Phil responded simply, tugging off his own shirt and tossing it behind him. “Shoes. There.” He pointed.

 

Dan grumbled as he kicked off his shoes, flinging them carelessly into the corner Phil indicated. Phil pushed him through the flat, mumbling to himself. Dan shivered in the slight chill.

 

“Belt,” Phil said simply. Dan frowned but obliged, unbuckling his belt and sliding it out of the loops. He dropped it where he stood. Phil nodded approvingly, leading Dan into his bedroom.

 

“Pants off. Socks too.” Dan gaped at him, watching Phil as he unbuckled and unzipped his jeans, wriggling them down his hips and kicking them off. Dan followed suit, albeit hesitantly, pushing his dark jeans down his hips and kicking them off, leaving them in a pool on the floor. He sat on Phil’s bed to remove his socks, tossing them randomly onto the floor. Phil did the same.

 

Quick as a flash, Phil had his hands clamped onto Dan’s shoulders and sank his teeth into Dan’s neck. Dan yelped in pain, shoving Phil off as his hand flew to his neck.

 

“What the fuck?” he yelled. Phil sank another bite into Dan, this one closer to his collarbone. Dan flinched away, hissing.

 

“Again. Believability. Phil winked, shoving Dan off the bed as he yanked up the sheets. He gave them a quarter turn before crawling underneath them, gesturing Dan to do the same. Dan did, grumbling the whole way. Phil flicked the light switch next to his bed, throwing the room into total darkness. A police siren wailed outside.

 

“Goodnight Dan,” Phil said smugly. “Remember, handcuffs.”

 

Dan harrumphed in reply, determinedly settling down and drawing the blankets tight over his shoulders. He was asleep within moments, despite sharing the bed with a killer.

 

Phil grinned dangerously, his pale teeth glinting in the moonlight before he too went out like a light.

 

*

 

A sharp knock on the door woke Phil up at around ten thirty. Phil threw on a tshirt from his wardrobe and, seeing that Dan was still sleeping peacefully, went to answer the door.

 

“Alyssa!” he exclaimed in his most excited voice as he threw the door open. “You’re earl- oh.” He blinked, wide-eyed at the two cops who stood in front of his door. Phil concentrated on forcing color into his cheeks, glancing down bashfully. “You’re not Alyssa,” he said stupidly. He toyed with the hem of his boxers, trying to pull them down further. “I’m sorry officers, please, come in.” He stepped back, welcoming the two men into his flat, closing the door behind them.

 

The officers glanced around. One noticed the shirt thrown over the back of Phil’s sofa and Phil blushed further, quickly snatching it up. His face felt hot and uncomfortable, but over the years he had learned to master acting bashful and confused. It certainly came in handy with police officers around. He cleared his throat.

 

“Is – I mean am I allowed to – can I go put on some trousers?” Phil mumbled. The officers looked to each other before nodding curtly, Phil immediately scrambling into his bedroom. He swung the door shut behind him, walking over to the bed and shaking Dan awake.

 

“Showtime,” he whispered, an unmistakable note of glee present in his voice. Dan blinked awake in an instant.

 

“Come out in about ten,” Phil whispered. “Don’t put anything on.” He winked as he jumped into a pair of sweat pants and left the room again. Dan didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until it all whooshed out of him, leaving him panting against Phil’s pillows. He glanced over at the clock. Ten minutes. He could do that.

 

*

 

“I’m officer Sugg. This is Clark,” the smaller of the two introduced once Phil was sat on the couch. Clark, a hulking, dark-skinned man in Terminator shades nodded. Phil took Clark as the kind of man who wasn’t terribly partial to idle chatter.

 

“What can I do for you?” Phil asked, innocence seeping into his eyes. He had been told by many people that he could look as innocent as an eight-year-old if he wanted to. Phil used that talent to its full potential.

 

“We’re here about the murder of a man named Trevor Warren,” Sugg said, pushing his shades up to rest on top of his curly chestnut hair. Phil noticed the guy couldn’t have been older than twenty-six. “We’re here for one, ah,” he glanced down at his notepad. “Daniel Howell.”

 

“Daniel Howell? I don’t think I know a Daniel,” Phil said, eyes wide. He startled. “Oh wait! I, uh, I brought this, um, this guy home last night, he told me his name is Dan.” He flushed again.

 

“Phil,” Dan moaned from down the hall. _Right on cue,_ Phil thought smugly. “C’mon babe, you promised me more this morning and I have to go in an hour and you didn’t even give me your number, so – “ He froze, finally turning the corner and seeing the police in Phil’s living room.

 

“Daniel Howell?” Clark asked, moving from his previous spot of leaning against the counter. Dan nodded, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish.

 

Phil had to admit, the kid could act.

 

“Can – I’m sorry – I’m gonna –“ Dan stepped backwards, tripping over his own feet and falling heavily against the wall. Phil sheepishly turned back to the cops and cleared his throat.

 

Dan reappeared moments later, clothed in Phil’s cookie monster pajama bottoms and an embarrassed expression. Phil clicked his tongue once under his breath. Dan subtly flicked two fingers from where he held his hands at his sides. Phil grinned to himself.

 

“Mr. Howell, can you please tell us where you have been for the past forty-eight hours?”

 

“Well, let me see,” Dan started. “I’ve been in Vegas for my older brother’s wedding for the past eight days. I got back at around four o’clock yesterday, got to my flat by about six and started unpacking. But I wasn’t really into it, and the time change meant I wasn’t very tired so I went out to a bar at about nine-thirty. I was there from ten or so till maybe one, when I came here with Phil. Then, um, well, I’m sure you can assume the rest.” He crossed his legs, keeping his gaze anywhere other than the two officer’s eyes. Phil went even redder, coughing and looking away as well.

 

Clark leaned forward. “We meant everything, Howell.” Now it was Dan’s turn to blush. “We had sex, sir,” he said primly, staring Clark down. “Then we fell asleep.”

 

“Now, Mr. Howell, would you mind answering a few questions for us?” Sugg asked. “Of course,” Dan nodded.

 

“How old are you Mr. Howell?”

 

“Nineteen, sir.”

 

“And your birthday?”

 

“June eleventh, sir.”

 

“And Phil’s? His birthday?”

 

“I don’t know, sir.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“We only met last night, sir, and did not spend a whole lot of time in conversation about ourselves.”

 

“But you came home with him?”

 

“Yes sir.”

 

“Without knowing anything about him?”

 

“I know some things,” Dan said, keeping his head high and voice steady. Phil was ready to applaud him.

 

“Like?”

 

“We both like the same music. And we both watch anime. And he’s friends with my best friend.”

 

“Who is this friend?”

 

“PJ Liguroi, sir. He’s in my law classes.”

 

Sugg and Dan went back and forth for another few minutes, until Clark seemed satisfied and stood up.

 

“Thank you, Mr. Howell, Mr. Lester. I do believe we have gotten everything we need from you. Thank you for your time.”

 

Sugg followed suit, Dan and Phil shaking their heads as the officers exited Phil’s apartment.

 

Phil groaned as soon as he shut the door, cracking his knuckles. Dan gasped and slid down the wall, panting heavily on the floor.

 

“Nice work, kid,” Phil offered, stepping over the tangle of Dan’s legs and making his way over to the couch. Dan smiled shyly as he followed suit, settling down with his legs crossed.

 

“Yeah? I’d taken acting from six until seventeen, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t learn a thing or two.”

 

Phil hummed, sliding his shirt off and checking his hair in the black screen of the TV. Dan wriggled closer to Phil, sliding out his foot and tucking his toes under Phil’s thigh.

 

“Cute and blushing’s a good look on you, Phil,” Dan murmured, toying with the drawstring of his pants. Phil swung around to face him, eyes dark.

 

“Yeah?” Phil smirked, his lips peeling back slightly to reveal his teeth. “I think it’s an easier fit on you. The blushing virgin,” he growled, crawling seductively up Dan’s body. Dan keened, pushing his chest up under Phil’s hot palms.

 

“Try again, Philip,” Dan purred, arching his back into Phil’s touch. “I’m really anything but.”

 

Phil growled, hands gripping tight around Dan’s hips as he claimed his mouth in a possessive, hungry kiss. Dan moaned as Phil slipped his tongue into Dan’s mouth, tasting every corner, the sound buzzing through Phil’s _teeth_. Phil pulled back, biting Dan’s lower lip and pulling roughly.

 

Dan moaned again, pushing up into Phil. Phil stroked down the side of Dan’s hip, slipping his fingers into Dan’s waistband as he licked up his neck. Phil nibbled harshly on one of the bruises he had made last night and Dan bucked his hips, already so far out of it.

 

“Phil,” he gasped, moaning loud and unashamedly as Phil yanked down Dan’s pants and boxers none too gently, tossing them carelessly across the room. Dan reached down to palm himself as Phil ripped off his own clothes, ducking back down and capturing Dan’s lips in a rough, messy kiss.

 

Dan whined when Phil pulled back, panting up at him with lust-blown pupils and a panting, eager mouth. Phil swatted Dan’s hand away from his cock, grabbing both of Dan’s wrists and pressing them above his head. Dan moaned again, hips kicking when Phil wrapped a hand around his cock and started pumping.

 

“How do you want this?” Phil growled into Dan’s ear, his teeth hooking onto the lobe and puling.

 

“Hnn,” Dan whined, his eyes rolling back in his head when Phil swiped his thumb over his slit. Dan bit his lip, trying to keep his moans in.

 

“Come on,” Phil chided, his voice low and rough in Dan’s ear. “How am I supposed to know what you want if you don’t beg?”

 

Dan was so far gone, simply gritting out a desperate, broken _fuck me_ was the easiest thing in the world.

 

“See? That wasn’t so hard,” Phil praised, bringing his sinfully sweet mouth back to Dan’s neck. He kept his right hand moving as he bit and sucked Dan’s neck, his left still firmly holding Dan’s wrists. Dan groaned in frustration when Phil removed his hand from Dan’s cock, moving it upwards to play with one of Dan’s nipples. He twisted the rosy nub, pressing it between his fingertips until it was stiff. He did the same with the other, trailing butterfly kisses down Dan’s chest to swirl his tongue around his nipple, biting hard enough to draw blood from the skin of Dan’s chest.

 

Dan’s hips bucked up then slammed down and he moaned, hard and writing and needy.

 

“Please, Phil,” he begged shamelessly, rolling his hips to get any friction on his aching cock. “Please, I need –“

 

“You want this?” Phil asked, wrapping his hand back around Dan’s dick and stroking roughly. “I thought you said you wanted to get fucked?”

 

“No – yes – just –“ Dan groaned in frustration. “Please fuck me Phil. Please. I wanna feel your cock in me, spreading me open. Make me feel it Phil, come on. I don’t want to be able to walk for a _week_.”

 

Phil smirked in appreciation, ducking his head down and slipping his lips around Dan’s cock. He forced himself down, his throat constricting against the head of Dan’s cock. Dan let out a near shout of pleasure when Phil’s nose reached Dan’s pubes and he swallowed. Dan pushed himself forward, tugging his hands out of Phil’s grasp and tangling them in Phil’s messy hair. Phil moaned as Dan gave a sharp tug, pulling back and sliding back up to whisper in Dan’s ear.

 

“No Dan, you see, that’s not how this works.” Phil sank his teeth into Dan’s collar again, lapping up the small pool of blood that formed. “You don’t get to touch without permission, yeah?”

 

Dan nodded frantically, his hands twitching by his sides from the effort it took to resist touching himself.

 

“Come on,” Phil ordered, standing up and yanking Dan off of the couch. Dan stumbled to his feet as he felt Phil pick him up. Seconds later, Dan was on his back on Phil’s bed with his hands cuffed to the headboard and he moaned, to desperate to question any of it.

 

“You okay?” Phil asked as he forced Dan’s lips open with his own, dipping his tongue into Dan’s mouth teasingly. Dan nodded frantically as he kissed back, wishing Phil would just fucking touch him already.

 

“Yes, perfect, please Phil, just fuck me, I need you please.”

 

Phil smiled down at the gorgeous boy underneath him, admiring the tan skin and purple bruises that stood out in stark contrast. He reached into his nightstand, pulling something out and hiding it behind his back so Dan didn’t see.

 

“Close your eyes,” Phil said. Dan blinked at him. Phil slapped Dan’s thigh, hard enough to sting.

 

“I told you to close them,” he growled, Dan automatically complying this time.

 

“Good boy,” Phil murmured, pressing a kiss to Dan’s lips as he fastened the blindfold behind Dan’s head. “Such a good boy.”

 

Dan heard a pop and a snap and felt something cold and wet pressing at his entrance. He moaned, spreading his legs wider and pushing his hips down onto Phil’s lubed fingers.

 

“Come _on_ ,” Dan moaned impatiently as Phil continued to circle his fingers around Dan’s hole, making no move to press in. “You can go, I’m not gonna fucking _break_.”

 

Phil snarled, slipping three fingers into Dan’s ass without warning. Dan gasped and moaned, pressing back as Phil worked his digits in.

 

“Okay?” Phil asked before he started to move. Dan groaned, fucking himself on Phil’s fingers.

 

“You don’t have to keep asking,” he panted, Phil beginning to move his fingers in and out.

 

“I’m a killer, Dan, not a monster,” Phil said, sliding his fingers out once he was satisfied Dan had been sufficiently stretched.

 

Dan whined at the loss of stimulation, tugging against his restraints impatiently as he waited for Phil. He arched his back and leaned his head back, spreading his legs and making himself looks as good as possible in the hopes Phil would go faster. Dan knew he had an attractive body, and used that to his advantage in situations like these.

 

It was a matter of moments before Dan felt the blunt press of Phil’s cock against his entrance, gasping in pleasure as he Phil began to slide it.

 

He was so big and it was so _good_ , filling Dan up to the brink of what he could handle.  Phil held still for a moment, waiting for Dan to adjust. Dan thrashed and moaned, calling Phil all sorts of names and begging him to _please fucking move holy fuck night fucking now_.

 

Phil pulled most of the way out before slamming back in, Dan’s mouth falling open on a strangled gasp. Phil pounded into him again and again, switching his angle every couple of thrusts until –

 

Dan _screamed_ in pleasure, turning his head and biting into his own shoulder to try and keep quiet. Phil licked a thick stripe up Dan’s neck, tasting salt and sweat and _him_.

 

“Oh no,” Phil chided, murmuring huskily into Dan’s ear as he wrapped a hand around Dan’s cock. “That just won’t do. Come on Dan. Moan for me.”

 

Dan’s mouth opened on the flick of Phil’s wrist, his head spinning and abdomen clenching. He did moan, groaning Phil’s name with utter adoration and lust. Phil growled back, biting under his jaw as his hips kicked irregularly. Dan could feel Phil was close, clenching around him and shivering at the moan that fell from Phil’s lips.

 

“You gonna cum Dan?” Phil asked, voice dripping with heat. Dan nodded as Phil pounded into him again and again, a breathy little whimper forced form his parted lips each time.

 

“Please Phil, let me cum. I need –“ “Cum for me,” Phil breathed, raking his nails down Dan’s chest as he simultaneously bit Dan’s neck and thumbed his slit.

 

Dan screamed Phil’s name as he came, while fluid dripping onto his stomach and Phil’s hand. Phil captured Dan’s mouth in a scorching kiss. Dan could taste his own blood on Phil’s tongue and that was just _hot._ Phil fucked him through his orgasm, losing all rhythm as Dan fell soft and pliant.

 

“Yeah Phil, go ahead, use me, make yourself come,” Dan whispered, clenching around Phil as Phil hit his spot again, electricity zinging through Dan’s veins as a jaw-dropping echo of when he last came. Phil came inside of him, with a grown and another bite, slumping forward until he was spent.

 

Dan mewled as Phil pulled out, tying off the used condom and tossing it in the vague direction of the trashcan. He gently untied Dan’s blindfold, kissing him when Dan’s brown eyes blinked open. Phil unlocked the handcuffs, sliding his arms under Dan’s torso and flipping him over in a bizarrely smooth move. He rubbed Dan’s shoulders carefully, smiling as Dan hissed and flexed his hands.

 

They lay against each other on the sheets, flushed and panting.

 

“You intrigue me, Howell,” Phil eventually said, tracing shapes on Dan’s sweaty, heaving chest.

 

“Yeah?” Dan said, his breath beginning to return to normal. “How so?”

 

“You just had sex with a murderer. And you don’t seem to be running away screaming yet, even with everything I’ve told you.”

 

Dan shrugged, nuzzling farther into the crook of Phil’s neck and closing his eyes.

 

“I’m dangerous,” Phil said. “I accidentally killed my family at eight years old. I was playing with matches and my house went up, charring my parents and my brother.”

 

Dan just breathed in his scent.

 

“I murdered my first person at sixteen, Dan,” Phil continued. “It was my cheating bitch of an ex girlfriend. I cut her up with a knife. You couldn’t recognize her chest as human.”

 

“We really need to work on your post-sex conversations,” Dan teased. Phil ignored him.

 

“I killed her boyfriend, too. Sliced him up and left him bleeding out in a ditch. Killed another six people before I realized this was something I could get _paid_ for if I talked to the right people. I had to lose the knives, start to work with guns. They were faster, easier. Made less mess. But I liked the blades better, being up close and personal with their screams as you carved into their flesh. Watch their eyes dim. Shove your fingers into the cuts you made and twist them just to cause them pain…” he trailed off and shrugged.

 

“Bullets are nice too though,” Phil added thoughtfully. “They are a lot easier. Just a click and boom, no more breathing.” He sighed, peering down at Dan.

 

“Are you asleep?”

 

“Are you done yet?”

 

Phil blinked in surprise. He thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“Good,” Dan yawned. “Because I’m really tired.”

 

“I’m dangerous, Dan,” Phil pointed out, as if he was stating the fact that his sofa was grey.

 

“Mmm,” Dan hummed.

 

“I’ve killed people. Lots of people. And I don’t regret it. Hell,” Phil barked a short laugh. “I love it.”

 

“You’re cute, Phil,” Dan mumbled sleepily. “And pretty great at sex too. We should go out sometime.” He pressed a kiss to Phil’s chest.

 

Phil just held him, staring at the ceiling. He began to hum softly, singing under his breath.

 

_Mama, I’m in love with a criminal. And this type of love isn’t rational. It’s physical. Mama please don’t cry, I will be all right. All reason aside, I just can’t deny I love the guy._

 

Dan smiled against Phil’s skin.

 

“Yeah,” he yawned. “Something like that.”

 

Phil listened to the sound of Dan’s breathing evening out, before eventually his eyes slipped shut too.

 

He vaguely realized that he had done something people in his line of work should never do: become attached. Attachments meant weaknesses, and weaknesses meant the potential to be hurt.

 

Surprisingly, Phil realized as he drifted off, he found he really didn’t mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, yeah. Not entirely sure how I feel about this one tbh. I mostly just wanted to do an AU with the Fantastic Foursome doing illegal stuff and so help me God I have to have a backstory for everything.
> 
> Feedback is love, feedback is nice <3


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